There are things about a person that are very difficult to share with others. Sex is by far one of the largest thing that can lead to feeling insecure or scared. When you start dating someone it’s easy to have passionate, normal sex. But eventually you get more comfortable. Yes it can still be lovely, but now is the time that you can start doing weird stuff. Fetishes are such a touchy subject because they vary so much from person to person. It can be embarrassing to tell your girlfriend your particular fetish because you might think she’ll reject you or be disgusted. But in actuality she really cares about you and is far more willing to try things than you might think.

Sit Her Down and Start Talking

“The best time to talk to her is just after you both had sex”

It’s a strange, difficult conversation to have. It can be easier if you talk about it after having sex, but it’s important to cover up. When people are naked they tend to feel more emotional about this sort of thing. You might be more scared or even have a physical reaction in your gut. Put on your clothes or a robe and cuddle up. Turn off the lights while you’re at it. It’s far easier to talk to a person when you can’t see their face, even in half light. When you start talking, be direct. Tell her that there’s something you have always wanted to try sexually and you feel like you can really confide in her. Even if the two of you don’t do it, you know that you can trust her with your secret desire.

Don’t Act Like You’re Ashamed

“Get her ready before you try your fetish on her”

If she agrees to try your fetish, don’t be overly grateful. Act appreciative and loving, but don’t treat it like it’s some deep dark secret. She has just accepted a different part of who you naturally are. When starting out, go slow. That is by far the most important thing to do if you ever want to try whatever it is out again. If your fetish is violent or involves something that people aren’t normally comfortable with tone it down to about a tenth of what you’d ideally like. Work out a safe word with her (a word that would never be used in sex so you know she really wants to stop whatever is going on at that moment). If it’s something along the lines of anal, for example, you wouldn’t just go barging in. You’d get her nice and ready and just touch the area you’re working on. Then you would start by inserting fingers or small sexual toys. Eventually you’d work your way up to putting yourself inside her. Not all fetishes require this exact scenario, but you get the idea.

Once the deed is done, hold her (or if cleanup is involved, do that part after) and act normal. Talk about what happened and how everyone feels about it. For all you know she might want to do it again sometime.