When you’re in a relationship, the pressure to keep things (and yourself) fresh and interesting over your time together can be intense. You have to keep improving, you have to become better than you were last week, last month, last year. The urge to get a ton of new hobbies can be intense, but there are some major things you should not do if you want to keep your current girl.

1. Learn to Dance

“Learn to dance even if she is happy with the way you are”

Learning to dance could be a metaphor for any sort of big event type project that your girlfriend doesn’t ask you to do. If she’s never mentioned dancing to you, if she doesn’t really dance and she’s never said that she’d like it if you did learn then why would you? She’s not asking you to, so chances are good that she doesn’t really care if you know how to dance or not. It might be a little romantic in your eyes, but it’s definitely not a requirement to change when she’s happy with you the way you are.

2. Change Your Style/Grow Up

If you and your lady have been together since university, odds are good that you have both matured and changed over the years (or that you will). This is a shock, but you don’t actually have to grow into the man you think that she wants you to be; grow into the man you are becoming. If that involves getting your hair cut then do it; if that involves totally reinventing your wardrobe then do it. But if it involves neither, don’t sweat about it. She was always attracted to you, so don’t assume there are problems where there aren’t any. Women will let you know if they don’t like your style.

3. Get a Job That Pays All the Bills

“Let her pay some bills if she wants to”

If you are in a healthy relationship then you should aim to pay al least half the bills unless another arrangement is made. Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean that she can’t pitch in for half, or that you need to work your fingers to the bone to support her. In this age, not all women want to be full time homemakers, and definitely not before they have children. So rest easy; if your girl’s content to pay half the expenses, don’t feel pressured into doing more than your fair share.

4. Want Children

If you and your girlfriend got together when the plan was never to have children, and then as time goes on she changes her mind and you don’t, that’s not a problem that you need to fix. If she wants kids, it’s a sign that you two might not be as compatible as you once thought you were, that’s all. Changing major life goals like whether or not to have kids isn’t healthy, and you don’t want your life utterly changed by something (or someone, in the case of children) that you honestly didn’t want.

It’s nice of you to change for your sweetheart, to a certain extent. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t start picking up more around the house. Do things if you want to, and let her worry about her attraction to the man you are.